The Puffin Book of Nonsense Verse Read online

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  The Puffin Book of Nonsense Verse

  Quentin Blake is one of Britain’s most renowned illustrators. Born in the suburbs of London in 1932, he read English at Cambridge before becoming a fulltime freelance illustrator. He began his career working for magazines such as The Spectator and Punch.

  With a few deft, instantly recognizable strokes of the pen, Quentin Blake can animate any character or situation. His genius for illustration and sharp eye for humorous detail led him into the world of children’s books, where he is respected and loved internationally for both his own picture books and collaborations with other authors. The first of these was with John Yeoman; some twenty books and thirty years later, their ingenuity and sense of mischief show no sign of flagging. The creative relationship between Quentin Blake and Roald Dahl was a particularly special and enduring one – his interpretation of Dahl’s characters has become an integral part of childhood.

  Quentin Blake was head of the Illustration Department at the Royal College of Art from 1978 to 1986 and is now a visiting Professor. He was awarded the OBE in 1988.

  Other books by Quentin Blake

  THE QUENTIN BLAKE BOOK OF NONSENSE STORIES

  (hardback)

  Other books illustrated by Quentin Blake

  With Roald Dahl

  THE BFG

  CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

  CHARLIE AND THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR

  DANNY THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

  DIRTY BEASTS

  THE ENORMOUS CROCODILE

  ESIO TROT

  GEORGE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE

  THE GIRAFFE AND THE PELLY AND ME

  JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH

  THE MAGIC FINGER

  MATILDA

  RHYME STEW (for older readers)

  ROALD DAHL’S REVOLTING RHYMES

  THE TWITS

  THE VICAR OF NIBBLESWICKE (for older readers)

  THE WITCHES

  With Ogden Nash

  CUSTARD AND COMPANY

  With Michael Rosen

  QUICK, LET’S GET OUT OF HERE

  WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW

  YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!

  With John Yeoman

  THE FAMILY ALBUM

  FEATHERBRAINS

  The Puffin Book

  of

  Nonsense Verse

  SELECTED AND ILLUSTRATED BY

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  For William and Mary

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia

  Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2

  Penguin Books India (P) Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi – 110 017, India

  Penguin Books (NZ) Ltd, Cnr Rosedale and Airborne Roads, Albany, Auckland, New Zealand

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  www.penguin.com

  First published by Viking as The Quentin Blake Book of Nonsense Verse 1994

  Published in Puffin Books 1996

  Copyright © Quentin Blake, 1994

  All rights reserved

  The acknowledgements on pp. 285–286 constitute an extension of this copyright page

  The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted

  Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

  ISBN: 978-0-14-196170-5

  CONTENTS

  INTRODUCTION

  THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

  from The World Turned Upside Down – ANONYMOUS

  I saw a Peacock – ANONYMOUS

  Uptown, Downtown – CLYDE WATSON

  One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night – ANONYMOUS

  I Saw iij Hedles Playen at a Ball – ANONYMOUS

  I Went to the Pictures Tomorrow – PLAYGROUND RHYME

  Topsyturvey-world – WILLIAM BRIGHTY RANDS

  When I Went Out for a Walk One Day – ANONYMOUS

  Sensible Questions – MARGARET MAHY

  CHORTLING AND GALUMPHING

  Jabberwocky – LEWIS CARROLL

  To Marie – ANONYMOUS

  Typo – RUSSELL HOBAN

  The Lugubrious Whing-whang – JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY

  Belagcholly Days –ANONYMOUS

  A RECIPE FOR INDIGESTION

  Dilly Dilly Piccalilli – CLYDE WATSON

  Ever Eaten – ROGER MCGOUGH

  Bleezer’s Ice-cream – JACK PRELUTSKY

  The Remarkable Cake – MARGARET MAHY

  ‘I’ve Eaten Many Strange and Scrumptious Dishes…’ – ROALD DAHL

  Brother and Sister – LEWIS CARROLL

  You Must Never Bath in an Irish Stew – SPIKE MILLIGAN

  The Friendly Cinnamon Bun – RUSSELL HOBAN

  Buttons – WALTER DE LA MARE

  The Walrus and the Carpenter – LEWIS CARROLL

  Minnow Minnie – SHEL SILVERSTEIN

  PORTRAITS FROM LIFE

  Fame was a Claim of Uncle Ed’s – OGDEN NASH

  from Melodies – LEWIS CARROLL

  There was an Old Person of Slough – EDWARD LEAR

  Incidents in the Life of my Uncle Arley – EDWARD LEAR

  There was an Old Person in Gray – EDWARD LEAR

  Moonshine – WALTER DE LA MARE

  Jerry Hall – ANONYMOUS

  Some Aunts and Uncles – MERVYN PEAKE

  Mrs McPhee – CHARLES CAUSLEY

  There was a Mad Man – ANONYMOUS

  A FRIEND TO THE CHILDREN

  The Yak – HILAIRE BELLOC

  A Sunnit to the Big Ox – ANONYMOUS

  The Elephant, or The Force of Habit – A. E.HOUSMAN

  Eletelephony – LAURA RICHARDS

  from The Crocodile or, Public Decency – A. E. HOUSMAN

  The Purist – OGDEN NASH

  Some Verses to Snaix – ANONYMOUS

  S F – ERNEST LEVERETT

  The Mad Hatter’s Song – LEWIS CARROLL

  THE DEDICATED TRAVELLER

  Anfruca – RUSSELL HOBAN

  The Owl and the Pussy-cat – EDWARD LEAR

  The Island of Llince – N. M. BODECKER

  On the Ning Nang Nong – SPIKE MILLIGAN

  The Jumblies – EDWARD LEAR

  How I Brought the Good News from Aix to Ghent or, Vice Versa – W. C. SELLAR AND R. J. YEATMAN

  The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-tongs – EDWARD LEAR

  The Road to Zoagli – MAX BEERBOHM

  O’er Seas that Have no Beaches – MERVYN PEAKE

  THE BONGALOO AND THE SCRUNCH

  A Quadrupedremian Song – THOMAS HOOD

  The Wendigo – OGDEN NASH

  The Utter Zoo Alphabet – EDWARD GOREY

  The Blunderblat – COLIN WEST

  The Bongaloo – SPIKE MILLIGAN

  ‘There is No Knowing What We Shall See!’… – ROALD DAHL

  The Underwater Wibbles – JACK PRELUTSKY

  The Worst – SHEL SILVERSTEIN

  AN AREA OF UNCERTAINTY

  A Chronicle – ANONYMOUS

  There�
�s a Rather Odd Couple in Herts – EDWARD GOREY

  Indirections – JOHN YEOMAN

  The Mad Gardener’s Song – LEWIS CARROLL

  Gazebos – ROGER MCGOUGH

  The Amphisbaena or, The Limits of Human Knowledge – A. E. HOUSMAN

  Wobble-dee-woo – COLIN WEST

  From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews – EDWARD GOREY

  The Ahkond of Swat – EDWARD LEAR

  FLAMINGOES RULE OLÉ!

  As I Went Over the Water – ANONYMOUS

  There was an Old Man with a Beard – EDWARD LEAR

  There was an Old Man of Dumbree – EDWARD LEAR

  Pooem – JOHN UPDIKE

  The Duck – LORD ALFRED DOUGLAS

  Goosey, Goosey, Gander – ANONYMOUS

  Little Birds – LEWIS CARROLL

  Ever See – ROGER MCGOUGH

  SPEAK ROUGHLY TO YOUR LITTLE BOY

  The Duchess’s Lullaby – LEWIS CARROLL

  Franklin Hyde – HILAIRE BELLOC

  The Happy Family – JOHN CIARDI

  Politeness – HARRY GRAHAM

  The Willow-tree – WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY

  Purple William or, The Liar’s Doom – A. E. HOUSMAN

  Inconsiderate Hannah – HARRY GRAHAM

  DEPARTMENT OF FACTS AND QUERIES

  An Unexpected Fact – EDWARD CANNON

  Scientific Proof – J. W. FOLEY

  The Flies Crawled up the Window – ELLIS AND FURBER

  The Lazy Roof – GELETT BURGESS

  Strange Meeting – JOHN YEOMAN

  Capacity – JOHN UPDIKE

  Father William – LEWIS CARROLL

  The Sea Serpant – WALLACE IRWIN

  There was an Old Man in a Trunk – OGDEN NASH

  The White Knight’s Ballad – LEWIS CARROLL

  Planting a Mailbox – JOHN UPDIKE

  I WISH I WERE A JELLY FISH

  Triolet – G. K. CHESTERTON

  Poems of Mystery and Imagination (No. 1) – ROGER MCGOUGH

  The Sword-fish – LORD ALFRED DOUGLAS

  The Cod – LORD ALFRED DOUGLAS

  Afternoon of a Prawn – KIT WRIGHT

  It Makes a Change – MERVYN PEAKE

  STICKY ENDS

  The Babe – EDWARD GOREY

  Little Willie’s Dead – ANONYMOUS

  The Lion – OGDEN NASH

  Waste – HARRY GRAHAM

  Idyll – J. B. MORTON

  Sally Simpkin’s Lament – THOMAS HOOD

  On the Accidental Death of an Officer of the Salvation Army – A. E. HOUSMAN

  Kitty – COLIN WEST

  DISTRACTING CREATURES

  Said the Monkey to the Donkey – ANONYMOUS

  A Cat Came Dancing out of a Barn – ANONYMOUS

  The Comic Adventures of Old Mother Hubbard and her Dog – ANONYMOUS

  Nine Mice – JACK PRELUTSKY

  Vladimir’s Song from ‘Waiting for Godot’ – SAMUEL BECKETT

  Old Mother Hubbard and Her Dog Revisited – JOHN YEOMAN

  The Story of the Man that Went Out Shooting – DR HEINRICH HOFFMAN

  Fur and Feathers – A. B. ‘BANJO’ PATERSON

  The Monkey’s Glue – GOLDWIN GOLDSMITH

  The Monkey’s Wedding – ANONYMOUS

  A GAMUT OF ACHIEVEMENTS

  Simple Simon – ANONYMOUS

  Science for the Young – WALLACE IRWIN

  Hooray for Captain Spaulding – BERT KALMAR AND HARRY RUBY

  The Adventures of Isabel – OGDEN NASH

  Knots – JOHN YEOMAN

  Bones – WALTER DE LA MARE

  The Reluctant Hero – MARGARET MAHY

  INDEX OF POETS

  INDEX OF FIRST LINES

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  INTRODUCTION

  Would I make my own choice of poems for a book of nonsense verse? And then would I illustrate it? An invitation as nice as that doesn’t happen very often, so I said ‘yes’ straight away. After that I had to think what I knew about nonsense.

  I’ve certainly had some dealings with it at one time and another; and there seems to be some natural affinity between nonsense in words and nonsense in pictures. It’s something I first noticed many years ago when I was still a schoolboy. I had gone to stay with some family friends in the country. They had three small children, and I found myself making drawings to amuse them. Here’s a giant to begin with – not too difficult. But should he have one head or two? I seem to remember that in the end we decided that three looked best. And then this dragon: five legs? seventeen? why not twenty-two? With socks on, of course. What we were happily launched into was the experimental nonsense of suppose-we-make-it-different.

  This is nothing new. Hundreds of years ago people were writing nonsense based on a version of just this idea; of standing things on their heads; of the world-turned-upside-down. The result may be exactly the opposite of what we’re used to – so that there’s a pig cooking a man, instead of the other way about – or it may be something quite incongruous, like a goat playing the violin. This is very nice if you are an illustrator, because you are given a lot of new and amusing subjects to draw. The same is not true about another way of standing things on their heads, which is to write about things which can’t be drawn because, except in words, they can’t be. You can find it today in the playground:

  I went to the pictures tomorrow

  And took a front seat at the back

  but it, too, existed hundreds of years ago.

  There is another aspect of the nonsensical suppose-we-make-it-different experiment that didn’t show itself until later on, in the nineteenth century. It was the idea of making up new words; words like frabjous and vorpal, which sound as though they mean something but actually don’t. I can’t help wondering if the urge to do this came into being because printing was becoming more common, words were being organized into dictionaries, and so at least a few writers began to feel that a little anarchy was called for.

  (These words I’ve quoted, incidentally, come from one of the most famous nonsense poems, ‘Jabberwocky’. In it Lewis Carroll invented, and obviously enjoyed inventing, a whole string of new words. The strange thing is that some of them, like chortle, galumphing and burble, have passed into the language, so that plenty of people now use them without knowing where they come from or that they were ever meant to be nonsense in the first place.)

  The first two sections of this book are devoted to these two kinds of nonsense – the world-turned-upside-down kind and the invented-words kind – but all the other sections are simply based on the idea of putting similar things together, such as animals, birds, travels, successes, confusions, and so on, in a way that I thought would be interesting. I can’t guarantee that every poem I’ve included is pure nonsense. Some have an element of nonsense without being absolutely nonsensical; and there are a few that are just sort of crazy in a way that I couldn’t resist, like the poem about ‘Snaix’. Worse than that, I’ve also cheated and put in one or two poems that are not nonsense at all, but just look like nonsense. ‘I saw a Peacock’ stops being nonsense if you move the punctuation to the middle of the line. The poem ‘Belagcholly Days’ looks as though it’s composed of a lot of those invented words until you say it as if you had a cold in your nose. (The last word is Adieu, but you have to sneeze at the same time.) And there may be others.

  There is one respect in which nonsense poetry isn’t in the least bit crazy; it is the way the poems are made. The rhymes, the metre, the verse-forms are just as regular as, and in many cases identical with, those of more serious poems. Indeed, it’s the fact that nonsense poems preserve this decorum – that at first sight they appear to be serious – that makes them effective. More than that it allows them, sometimes, to have their own mysterious poetry and atmosphere, so that they are funny and serious at the same time.

  When I began collecting the poems for this book I was already in possession of a piece of encouraging good fortune. It was that I had a rich source of verses in the books of several
people whose work I had illustrated, such as Margaret Mahy, Russell Hoban, Ogden Nash and Roald Dahl; so that the beginning was easy. But after having started at home, so to speak, the subsequent search went into all kinds of places; not only into libraries and bookshops but into the dusty bookshelves of spare bedrooms: anywhere that nonsense might lurk. I looked at all kinds of anthologies and at the works of individual poets; everything from heavy leather-bound Victorian volumes to slim new paperbacks. One very helpful book turned up unexpectedly just at the right moment, in a second-hand bookshop in New Orleans, where it seemed to have been waiting for me. And, to end as well as to begin with luck, on three occasions when I thought there ought to be poems which, however, didn’t exist, John Yeoman, with characteristic promptness, sat down and wrote them for me.

  No doubt now that I’m taken with the habit of looking for nonsense verse, old and new, I shan’t be able to stop. Perhaps I shall even transfer the habit to you, at least as far as making you want to seek out the other writings of the authors represented here. If you do, you’ll perhaps be reminded of the closeness of nonsense in writing and drawing, because you will find that many of these writers are also artists, and very good ones. Edward Lear is the most famous; but there are also Edward Gorey and Mervyn Peake and Shel Silverstein, and several others. However, for this book, because it’s my collection and because we wanted it to come together as a single entertainment, you will find that you have my illustrations all the way through.

  I hope you’ll enjoy them too.

  THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

  from

  THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

  OR,

  NO NEWS, AND STRANGE NEWS

  Here you may see what’s very rare,

  The world turn’d upside down;

  A tree and castle in the air,

  A man walk on his crown.

  To see a cat catching a mouse,

  is no news;

  But to see a rat building a house,

  is strange indeed!

  Some rats take delight to gnaw

  Houses down –

  I want to build a good

  House of my own.